As much as I loved traveling,
seeing other missionaries, and meeting new friends, I am so glad we are back at
Mariann. I feel more grounded
being here with our students and our friends in the community—they have become
our African family. Towards the end
of April, I started to get an unexpected and strong wave of homesickness. I really struggled to be in the present
and not let my mind wander to thoughts of when we would return home. I let doubts creep in (i.e. are we
really making an impact here, am I really utilizing our limited time here),
which led to discouragement. But
just as God has provided for us immeasurably, He lifted me up in multiple ways.
First,
seeing the smiling faces of our kids was a wonderful welcome. But soon after we arrived back at
Mariann, we had such an encouraging visit from Monte Cox, David Hatfield, and
Phil Hoggard—three elders from Downtown Church of Christ in Searcy,
Arkansas. Their presence and kind
words were so edifying. We also
gained a new teammate, Abbie, who is so Spirit-filled and Spirit-led. The three of us have had so many great
conversations about God in the past few weeks. God knew what I was feeling and provided just what I needed
when I needed it. Mom sent me a
calendar where she wrote encouraging verses on random days. Strangely enough, the verse for May 10
was from I Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has seized you except what is
common to man. And God is faithful;
he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also
provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” That was the same day that Abbie arrived. J
At
the same time, though, God has been working on me. I love it when He gives you a wake-up call at a time when
you don’t even realize you are asleep.
Even being in as wonderful a place as Sang’alo, Kenya, Satan will still
attack you. In fact, I think it
may be easier for him to catch you off guard because you think you are
safe. I wish I could expound more
on some things that God has shown me lately, but I will focus on two:
First, God has
given me this sense of urgency to proclaim His Gospel to everyone I meet. It sounds simple and obvious enough,
but I know that I have been too relaxed for a long time. While reading the Prophets, one sees
the terrible nature of sin and the urgency of God’s call to repentance and
salvation. As our time winds down
here, I feel an increased pressure to spend every moment wisely and
intentionally. But why should life
in general be any different? My
days on this earth are numbered, and this world needs Jesus.
Second, God has
given us His Holy Spirit to live in us.
This also seems like a pretty basic Christian concept; but when you
dwell on this simple fact, it will blow your mind! Part of the reason I was getting discouraged was because I
was relying on me rather than the Spirit of God. As Kyle Idleman, the author of Not a Fan puts it: why would you choose to walk when you can
ride? We choose to struggle on our
own rather than get out of way so that God can work in us. Idleman also points out that we always
say, “How cool would it be to be [insert person from Bible here] because he/she
[talked to God, saw God, etc.]?”
The truth of the matter is that we have God living IN us. When we get to heaven, these revered
witnesses will be asking us, “What was it like to have the Holy Spirit living
and working in you?” Pretty crazy
thought.
As our friend Arap Chumba would say, “It’s like that.” I
hope I didn’t ramble and made some ounce of sense. There are so many thoughts running through my head so I have
difficulty writing them out.
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